Brie’s first pregnancy had progressed normally up until the day she went into labor on April 21, 1999, at Advocate Lutheran General Hospital. Her son, Colin, had a meconium aspiration at birth.
Meconium aspiration syndrome happens when a baby has breathing problems because meconium, a baby’s first stool, gets into their lungs. Inhaling meconium can block or irritate a baby’s airways, damage lung tissue and block surfactant, the substance that helps open the baby’s lungs at birth. Meconium aspiration can cause respiratory problems, and in rare cases, be life-threatening.
“He was taken to the NICU as a precaution, and we fully expected him to return,” shared Brie. “But his condition destabilized, and he passed away the following day. It was incredibly traumatic for everybody, but the support from Advocate Lutheran was just amazing.”
Brie and her husband, Christopher, credit their care team and the obstetrics bereavement team for helping them navigate their loss with compassion and care.
“All the doctors, nurses, pastors and social workers were incredibly kind. In fact, everybody we encountered offered condolences – even the housekeepers and staff who brought us lunch. There was lots of good communication and caring on all levels, and it’s still very much appreciated all these years later.”
The bereavement team offered additional comfort and support. They took newborn photos, cut a lock of Colin’s hair, made hand and footprints and casts of his hands. They put him in different outfits so Brie and her husband, Christopher, had different photos of him.
“We didn’t think about any of those things at the time. We didn’t know what to do or what to ask or even how to be with our loss. They gave us time with our son. I got to hold him as he passed, which was important to me because I didn’t want him to be alone. Our family got to hold him,” said Brie. “And over the years, having tangible things of him has brought me comfort and has been very healing.”
Brie participated in the support groups at the hospital. She also joined an international support group that connected parents from around the world who lost infants.
“So many families did not have the same level of support we did. There were so many sad stories. For example, people would walk into other moms’ hospital rooms and say, ‘congratulations,’ not knowing the parents had experienced loss,” she explained. “At Advocate Lutheran General, there were butterflies on my door so everyone who came in already knew. It was those kinds of things that provided extra comfort in our darkest days.”
Christoper also attended support groups with Brie.
“We felt that support group was incredibly helpful because it normalized all the emotions we were feeling. Being with other bereaved families and knowing we weren’t alone was healing.”
Giving back in Colin’s memory
As Colin’s 25th birthday approached, Brie and Christopher wanted to honor him by giving back. They met with the development team at Advocate Lutheran General.
“It was so nice to hear how the bereavement program has expanded over the years,” shared Brie. “It was a pretty modern concept 25 years ago – not a lot of people talked about pregnancy loss back then, let alone had teams to help bereaved parents – so to hear about all the training and outreach to other sites to make sure everyone at Advocate gets the same level of care was wonderful.”
Brie and Christopher decided to make a generous gift to support the Obstetrics Bereavement Fund at Advocate Lutheran General.
“I wanted to make sure the bereavement program would continue to help grieving families and provide those tangible things that brought me so much comfort. We had so little time with Colin, so to have things that he touched – like his blankets, a stuffed animal and even the measuring tape that measured his length and head circumference. They gave us everything, and to this day, it means so much.”
How you can help
Bereavement programs and services are supported by the generosity of donors like Brie and Christopher.
“They knew what we needed before we did,” said Brie. “It was the worst day of our lives and we still experienced so much kindness and support because of them. And through our gift, Colin continues to live on and make an impact for other families experiencing loss.”
Please consider making a gift today.