Sherri Fansler’s niece, Liz, was 19 when she filed a restraining order against her ex-boyfriend, with whom she shared a 2-year-old son, Jay.
“Liz lived in Kansas, so we didn’t know what she was dealing with,” explained Sherri. “We later learned her boyfriend had been abusive. Once, she’d been beaten so badly she was hospitalized.”
Liz had to share custody of Jay with her ex. On Jan. 6, 2018, Liz was dropping their son off when her ex attacked her, shot her and left her to die – with Jay in the room.
“It was one of the hardest phone calls I’ve ever received because I then had to tell my own children. How do you break that kind of news? It was a helpless feeling being so far away.”
Liz’s final social media post told others, “You are enough.” It was a call to action urging others in abusive relationships to leave their partners and start living their lives.
“That’s exactly what Liz did. She had just started working for Panera so she could save to go to nursing school,” said Sherri. “She wanted a better life for herself and her son.”
Honoring Liz
Sherri, who is a patient service representative at Aurora St. Luke’s South Shore, wanted to do something to make a difference. She found inspiration after meeting a nurse who works with Aurora Healing & Advocacy Services, which offers emergency care, counseling, emotional support and forensic nursing to survivors of sexual and domestic violence.
“She was telling me about a new shower facility for survivors at Aurora Sinai Medical Center and mentioned they only had hospital grade products to give them. And I had the idea to collect toiletries and put together hygiene kits to donate to the hospital. I called the project ‘You Are Enough’ in honor of Liz.”
The first donation contained 25 kits that included everything a person would need for a shower: shampoo, conditioner, soap, a toothbrush, toothpaste, a comb, lip balm, hand lotion, a makeup remover wipe and deodorant. Her most recent donation was nearly 1,000 kits.
“Sherri’s ‘You Are Enough’ project has impacted so many survivors of violence who have come to the hospital after a violent experience and are not going home afterwards because it is no longer safe,” shared Nicky Glaser, Manager of Volunteer & Advocacy Services at Aurora Sinai. “Being able to provide something as basic as hygiene products to our patients goes a long way and we’re so appreciative of her support!”
Supporting families in need
Thanks to friends, family, a local news story and the help of the community, Sherri has collected and donated so many kits over the last six years that the Center is fully stocked for the year.
“Now I’m putting together backpacks filled with comfort items for kids impacted by violence,” she shared. “I remember when Jay was reunited with my sister-in-law after Liz was murdered. He’d been in the same diaper all day and was wearing a towel because his clothes had to be collected as evidence. Kids are affected by violence too.”
Sherri is also collecting socks, diapers and new children’s book for the hospital’s Safe Mom Safe Baby program, which supports pregnant women and new moms whose lives have been affected by domestic violence. She hopes her donations provide a small measure of comfort on what may be the worst day of someone’s life.
“Hopefully they’ll look back and remember that someone thought of them in their time of need,” she explained.
Sherri is grateful for all the help and support she’s received.
“I have an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for the people who are helping and shining a light on this problem. I’ve spoken with so many survivors. I’ve also heard from moms of daughters who didn’t survive. Some days are so filled with emotion, but it gives me even more of a reason to keep doing what I’m doing.”
How you can help
Aurora Healing & Advocacy Services provides crisis intervention and long-term healing services for survivors of sexual and domestic violence. All services are available free of charge to survivors and are supported solely by philanthropy.
There are many ways survivors can access Aurora’s services, including our 24-hour crisis line: 414-219-5555.
If you’d like to support Sherri’s efforts, email her at sherri.fansler@aah.org. You can also make a financial donation.