In 2016, Julie and Joshua Giovenco were thrilled to find out they were going to be parents. But Julie’s pregnancy wasn’t easy.
“I don’t typically have high blood pressure, but at my first appointment, my numbers were elevated,” explained Julie. “The next few readings were fine, but at my 20-week appointment, my blood pressure was so high that I was admitted to the hospital for five days.”
She was put on medication to manage her blood pressure and was released from the hospital.
“I was at work the following week when I started bleeding. It turned out to be a placental abruption, which is when the placenta detaches from the uterus before delivery. It’s a rare and very serious complication.”
Julie was taken to Advocate Lutheran General Hospital, where they induced labor due to complications. Tragically, their son, Joseph Robert Giovenco, was born at 22.5 weeks and passed away the following day.
“During that time “I was in shock and pretty much unable to process any of what was happening.” She shared.
“It was devastating,” added Josh. “only a few of our family and friends knew how to talk to us about it openly. One day she was pregnant, and the next day she was not. So, it felt like it was just the two of us experiencing this loss. The following Sunday we hosted a celebration of life for Joseph and that seemed to help start the healing process.”
They did find the most support from their doctor and care team.
“The one blessing in all of this was that we met Dr. Suwan Mehra, a maternal-fetal medicine specialist who cared for us during our loss,” said Julie. “He was so compassionate and accessible. He and his staff are just amazing.”
“The nurses were incredible. At a time when we were completely unprepared, they came through without skipping a beat,” said Josh. “They were caring and compassionate and helped us through all of the decisions we had to make, like arranging for a priest to baptize Joseph and administer last rites and getting a photographer to take newborn photos.”
“They also gave us a blue Build-a-Bear,” said Julie. “It may sound strange, but it really provided us with a lot of comfort in a time when we felt no one could understand what we were going through. We held the bear while we were holding Joseph, so it was especially meaningful to us.”
That small gesture would inspire Julie and Joshua to give back.
“The following year, we decided to buy Build-A-Bears and donate them for other families experiencing loss,” explained Julie. “We understand what they’re going through, and while a stuffed toy won’t heal their pain, it’s something to hold onto when you’re really sad.”
Donating bears around the holidays became a tradition they look forward to every year. And in 2019, Julie and Joshua welcomed their son, Connor, into the world. Now 4½ years old, Connor loves to help assemble the bears.
“We call our bear ‘Brother’ and Brother sleeps with Connor. We haven’t told him the full story, but he knows he has a big brother in heaven watching over him,” explained Julie. “And this year, he was really involved in our donation. Each bear gets a heart, and he chose the hearts and made a wish while putting the hearts into the bears.”
The Giovenco family has been donating six bears each year since 2017. They also participate in the hospital’s annual Walk to Remember and Service of Remembrance.
“To know that bereavement programs like this exist is very comforting,” explained Josh. “And the walk gives us a way to remember Joseph as a family alongside people who understand what we went through.”
How you can help
The obstetrics bereavement program at Advocate Lutheran General is supported by generous donors like the Giovenco family. To help families like theirs during their most difficult times, please give today.